2N1
Hvn blogged for a long long time..Life's really so busy now..shuffling between uni & jwss..My kids are so cute. I love them all. The Sec 1s especially. Super adorable. There were a few who black-faced me initially..but after a few lessons, they have warmed up. They are super sajiao..they will crowd around me and "Ms Qian", "Ms Qian"...I hope they will remain this way even when they move up..and not turn into monsters like their seniors..
All the classes are wonderful..really. All except one..2N1. I feel very exhausted everytime i walk out of this class..going into the class is like entering a battefield. Their voices cover mine. They don't respect me. They think I can be bullied just because i am a FEMALE RELIEF teacher. Even when I am super pissed and scolded them, they can still laugh. I feel very demoralised and sad. Why should I give up a job that is well-respected and highly paid to come into teaching and bear this shit? My efforts are not recognised and not appreciated. I don't blame the class, really. I love them. Though they are really noisy and disruptive, they still do my work. Even if they copied, at least they bother. A lot of teachers tell me, "Don't bother so much about them. Take it easy. Just send a few monkeys out of the class, then the rest will listen to you."
I really don't have the heart to punish them..they are all very nice kids..their nature is really good. I don't know who to pinpoint to punish. I really can't bring myself to do it. I feel very touched by the little things they do sometimes. Like when Claire asked the class to "shut up". Like when Chun Weng suddenly hands in my work. Like when Zhen Ming really stop reading his comic. This kind of small small things mean a lot to me. I remembered there was one day when i offered to give them extra lessons, so I went there after school. I thought no one will bother, but a few of them came up to me and explained why they can't make it. Even those naughty ones..like Angus, Shawn, Jun Yong. I felt touched at that moment.
Today, Mr Wong came into the class. They went quiet. So quiet. I have never seen them like that before. I don't know what to feel at the moment. Disappointed that they don't give me the basic respect that a teacher deserve? They can be so good, yet they are not giving me their best behavoiour. Or to feel humilated and small infront of Mr Wong that i can't even control a sec 2 class? I don't want to punish anyone..there is no point. One of them scolded a teacher "idiot" today and he got 2 strokes of the cane. Will he learn? Will he realise his mistake? No, he will just hate the teacher and go against him. I agree that the school needs discipline to function. But not to the extend that the kids listen to you out of fear. The kids should be nice to you because they respect you. Respect comes from within the heart. You can cane them a hundred times. You can make them listen to you. But you can't make them respect you.
posted by Mel Mel @ 8:01 PM
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